Ava Simons-
thought, plan, etc. )

My work for the past year has been examining and reflecting on my experiences in both inpatient and residential mental health treatment; not only encompassing a journey of healing, but of the liminality and absurdity that can ensue. Often, art therapy was a point of anguish for myself, a reminder that I was unable to do something that is so integral to who I am as a person. I would resort to simple doodles of shapes because that was what I had the energy for at times. Blob-like shapes and zentangle patterns would fill pieces of scrap paper, as I tried to squeeze any enjoyment out of making art. Supplies were often limited to crayons and markers, out of safety concerns for the patients. As I moved on to residential treatment, a wider variety of supplies was allowed. Fiber-arts became integral to healing and finding enjoyment in art again. In residential treatment I would often crochet in my free time, making countless granny squares and weaving together magazine pages for the sake of learning something new. Upon entering the residential program, I received a large dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) binder and a cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) workbook that would be with me all day, every day, for two months and then left on a shelf in my room for two years. As I was tired of watching them collect dust, I decided to shred it and macerate it into a pulp for papermaking. This will be the most expensive paper I will ever own, thanks to the American healthcare system but also because of my fortunate ability and privilege of having good insurance.